Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
