all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
