I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
