You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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