my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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