I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
