"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
