I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
