if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize