Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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