Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize