Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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