just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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