yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
