last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
