whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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