So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
