I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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