mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
COCAINE IS GR8
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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