i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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