Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
God, I missed his penis.
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