got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
