I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
