you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize