yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize