I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
