I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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