at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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