This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
