I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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