I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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