his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
