youre lurking in front of me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
