Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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