Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
