Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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