don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
