hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
