i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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