see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize