i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize