Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
