My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
