This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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