Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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