Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
