Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
