would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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