I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
