HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
