I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
