Im at strip club and am horny
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize