lets start a swedish sibling band together
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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