On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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