i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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