he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
