you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
