Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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