JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
