so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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