ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
