I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
