You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
