Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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