I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
