Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
