Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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