Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
