mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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