everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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