I'm lost and stupid without you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
