coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize